Friday, February 29, 2008

Update 2/29: I have been quoted a final bill of $14.10.

2/29 UPDATE: I might be in good shape. I only had to speak with 2 people today, which is a significant sign of progress. Best news of all, is that after a long search for my account, the representative said my final balance was only $14.10. That is great news, and I may finally be at the end of this road. She didn't know why I hadn't received the bill yet (she said it mailed 2/16), but that it should be en route. And she had no idea why I never received my two rounds of shipping labels. Oh well, I was hoping to ship my final payment, in pennies, in the largest box I could find at their expense. Oh well. Hopefully the next update is the final one.

Monday, February 25, 2008

2/25 Update: Has anyone seen my final bill? Can you even find my account?

2/25 UPDATE: Still not much info on the final bill. I spoke with a representative yesterday who was much better than I was used to, but still my question went unanswered. She was able to locate my old internet account, but was unable to locate my old FIOS TV account. She searched by phone number, name, service address, even SSN and couldn't find the account. How the hell is that even possible? She was very sympathetic, however, and said she understood why I told Verizon to take a hike. Stay tuned for further updates.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

2/23 Update: No labels, so I dumped the stuff at a local store.

I was just trying to end this ordeal. Seriously, it was wearing on me. So it finally dawned on me that there might be a retail location that I could drop off the Verizon equipment. Turned out there was one in my area. So I arrived with all my gear neatly packaged, and the greeter quickly realized that I was there to turn in equipment - not the image they want to portray in their store. So she shuttled me to the back corner where I met with a very nice representative.

He listened to my story, reviewed my account and really seemed to understand my pain. Not surprisingly, my ordeal didn't seem like a total shock to him. In fact, he was both amused and confused to find out that we had an installation scheduled for next week!!!! Huh??!?!? No one told us that. He jokingly asked if we would like to try Verizon again, and we both nodded in agreement that it probably wasn't the best idea.

So he presented me with a receipt that showed that I returned the equipment in good order. Of course, the receipt indicated the possibility of a early termination fee, but he personally promised that it would not apply. He said that if it were to appear on the final bill (which he said can be tricky to receive and/or understand), that I could call him directly.

So I may never find out what actually happened to my order, or all my promised returned phone calls, or the return shipping labels, or any semblance of competence at the toll free support line, but I have a feeling I will find out that I got an early termination fee and a shortened lifespan from all of the heartburn this has caused. I'll keep you updated on the status of the final bill.

Friday, February 22, 2008

2nd Update on 2/22: More broken promises

2/22 SECOND UPDATE @ 5:45pm: I got through to someone who indicated that he would regenerate the order for the shipping label. In fact, he asked for my email address so they could be sent electronically. He indicated their system was down (shocker), but it would be back up at 6:30pm, at which time he would be able to send the labels. Of course, 6:30pm is after the customer service department closes and my labels never arrived. Seriously, this is just a joke.

Update 2/22: Still no boxes or labels to return my equipment

2/22 UPDATE: STILL NO BOXES OR LABELS TO RETURN THE EQUIPMENT. I called "customer support" early this afternoon, spent 2 hours total on the phone, and spoke with no fewer than 6 people - a few land line folks, a few tech support folks, and a few billing folks. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. It's just unbelievable. My saga may never end...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

First Update 2/20: Dude, where's my boxes?

Suffice it to say, it has been nearly two weeks (as of 2/20) and I haven't received the boxes. Now I am just waiting for those jerks to charge me an obscene amount of money for not returning everything - I know this is a possibility because a coworker had this happen to him a few weeks ago (detailed in an earlier post). I called a few days ago just to check up on those boxes, and I was "assured" that this was standard procedure and they should arrive any day now.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

My experience is not unique. Not even in my small office.

I assume that reading this far is akin to waterboarding itself, but if there is just one person who can hear my story and change their mind about switching to FIOS, then I win. Funny thing is, my story does not seem all that atypical...

My torture has become a thing of legend in our office, as the 20 or so people who work near me couldn't believe how I could possibly be spending hours a day, week after week trying to accomplish the simple task of getting a phone installed. However, my conversations brought to light the fact that I am not the only one who thinks Verizon should be ashamed of themselves. Other horror stories I have heard THIS WEEK. Keep in mind, this is 3 different people, other than me, in an office of only 20 folks. And not a single person in the entire office has a single nice thing to say about Verizon. So without further ado...

1) The intermittent, although extended, internet outages that I and my co-worker have experienced. Verizon tech support continues to say that there is no issue. However, the other night, my coworker buddy bumped into a Verizon tech in his neighborhood and asked him about the problem. He confirmed that there has been a problem in that area for some time, and that it is a hardware-type issue with no ETA for resolution. Typical Verizon.

2) Monthly rates not as agreed upon when Verizon convinced one co-worker to switch from another local provider. In typical Verizon fashion, he has not received a copy of his bill (despite repeated attempts) but they were nice enough to charge his credit card. He has spent hours on the phone, and was ultimately given the email address of a Verizon employee who promised to resolve the issue. My coworker emailed him two weeks ago, and has not received a response. Typical Verizon.

3) Yet another coworker had said the hell with Verizon and their shitty service. He scheduled the appointment for the tech to come out and take back the cable boxes, etc. Yet two weeks later, Verizon debited his checking account for over $900. Again, multiple phone calls, bounced around from department to department, and he finally gets the answer that he didn't return the boxes. THE DAMN TECHNICIAN PICKED THEM UP TWO WEEKS AGO?? To make things worse, Verizon indicated they couldn't credit his account directly, and would have to send a paper check. It's been about two weeks, and he has not received his check.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Commemoration of World Consumers Rights Day in Tanzania

Re: Invitation To participate on World Consumers’ Rights Day - 15th.March.2008

In response to the current consumer rights violation challenges in Tanzania, TCAS intend to organize consumers’ week, eventful consumers rights related activities days before the final day of commemorating for World Consumers Rights Day on 15th.March.2008.

World Consumer Rights Day (WCRD) was first observed on 15 March 1983 in US and UK, later in developed world, Egypt, Kenya, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa just to mention some few and has since become an important occasion for mobilising citizen action under the leadership of the world consumers organization body known as ‘’Consumers International’’ (CI).

World Consumer Rights Day has its origins in former US President John F. Kennedy in his 15 March 1962 declaration to the US Congress. He said '’Consumers are the largest economic group, affecting and affected by almost every public and private economic decision; yet they are the only important group... whose views are often not heard.'’

In the same meeting, President Kennedy declared four basic consumer rights to US citizens which are valid even today, these rights are;-
Ø The right to safety
Ø The right to be informed
Ø The right to choose
Ø The right to be heard.

April.2007, TCAS; consumer Survey report revealed that, more than 80% of consumers in Tanzanian suffer from lack of understanding of their rights. They remain unaware, vulnerable, with no platform and ability to fight or claim for their rights.

Majority of Tanzania families live below poverty line with an average per capita gross national income (GNI) of less than $745 per year, this is to say they live on less than $2 per day. Imagine this little income - $2 per day consumers are spending on counterfeit products, and poor services, associated with a lot of cheating and poor practice from unscrupulous traders.

In campaigning for the rights of consumers across Tanzania, TCAS seeks to hold corporations to account for consumers’ needs and interest and persuade government actions to put consumer concerns first.

To this end, we are committed to act as a national watchdog: campaigning against any behaviour that threatens; ignores or abuses the principles of consumer protection; for instance;-

Ø TCAS wants to support government efforts on holding corporations to account and ensure for product safety and corporate responsibility are paramount.

Ø TCAS believes in sustainable access to essential goods and services, regardless of ability to pay.

Ø TCAS is working to put the rights of consumers at the heart of decision-making.

Ø TCAS is campaigning for an end to unethical and unsustainable production and consumption.

Ø TCAS is working toward raising awareness about purchasing choices through clear, engaging and accessible communication.

This year’s World Consumer Rights Day theme is about ‘’Junk food Generation- to stop marketing of unhealthy food’’.

What are junk foods? Are foods high in sugar, salt and fat? Due to confusing labelling and extensive promotions, it can be difficult to tell what food or drink is healthy and what food or drink is unhealthy.

Consumers International (CI) has played an integral part in the passing of a highly significant World Health Organization (WHO) resolution announced at the World Health Assembly (WHA), which took place from 14-23 May 2007 in Geneva.

Through the lobbying of countries by CI and its member organisations, CI achieved a resolution that has committed the WHO to:

“Promote responsible marketing including the development of a set of recommendations on marketing of foods and non-alcoholic beverages to children”.

The WHO has until May 2009 to develop a set of proposals on the marketing of food and drinks to children. CI believes that this should be an international code restricting marketing of unhealthy food.

Tanzania Consumer Advocacy Society intend to have a week of eventful consumer related activities to mark the week before the final event on 15th.March.2008; for instance;-
On 7th.March.2008; TCAS will give a press release on the intention of conducting a press conference on 10th.March.2008 and round table meeting on 13th.March.2008 all these efforts aim to sensitize people about marking World Consumers Rights Day on 15th.March.2008.

On 10th.March.2008; TCAS will hold a press conference to extend an invitation to the member of general public, media house, and members of the professional bodies like Medical Doctors from Muhimbili, Tanzania Bureau of Standards (TBS) and Tanzania Food and Drugs Authority (TFDA) to talk about their efforts to curb Junk food Generation and to determine a way forward for this campaign. At Habari Maelezo from 09.00 am to 12.00noon.

On 13th.March.2008; TCAS will conduct a Round Table meeting to celebrate WCRD with the focus on consumers’ empowerment and awareness creation on consumers’ rights and remedies on the one hand, and on the other way sounding a note of warning about Junk food Generation at Landmark Hotel from 09.00 am to 16.00hours.

Participants include members of from the media house, the public, representatives from sectoral regulatory authorities, key government officials, medical doctors, NGOs such as NOLA, LHRC, TAMWA, TGNP and other civil societies.

On 15th.March.2008, at this final event TCAS will display, and distribute T-shirts, posters and pamphlets about consumers’ rights in Tanzania.

TCAS will hold peaceful rally from Kariakoo to Mnazi Mmoja grounds, from 8.00am to 10.30am, later to make a key word on World Consumers’ Rights Day at Mnazi Mmoja grounds at 10.30am. TCAS management, group representatives, and a guest of honor- honorable Minister for Economic planning and empowerment will deliver speeches.

The main message to mark the day will focus on awareness creation on Junk food Generation through out the final event and through media coverage such as newspapers, radio and television.

Other Recent themes promoted by Consumers International for World Consumer Rights Day include:

2007 - The theme was; ‘’Unethical Drug Promotion’’
2006 - The theme was; ‘’Sustainable Access of Energy for All’’
2005 - The theme was; ‘’Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) is a problem - Get your food labelled’’
2004 - The theme was; ‘’Clean Water and Sustainable Sanitation for All’’.
2003 - The theme was; ‘’Corporate control of the food chain: the GM link’’
2002 - The theme was; ‘’Consumer Representation’’.
2001 - The theme was; ‘’Corporate Accountability’’
2000 - The theme was; ‘’Genetically Modified Foods ‘’

TAZAMA Arts group will perform drama and comedies relating to problems encountering Tanzania consumers to mark the event.

TCAS will publish and share consumer survey reports and information about the latest studies, findings and testimony about problems Tanzania consumers are facing.

We real need your presence so that we can up date Tanzania consumers and equip news editors with information to address these issues squarely in order to turn around the scourge of junk food, counterfeit, substandard, poor quality goods and services that is associated with lack of consumer awareness particularly to poor consumers every where in Tanzania.

I am delighted to invite you to attend these events as explained above

TCAS management team has invited Honorable Minister for Finance and Economic Planning to be the guest of honor.

We are looking forward for your presence. Please your confirmation to attend will be of greate help through this email; consumeradvocacytz@yahoo.co.uk

Together we can make a difference.



Daimon Jim Mwakyembe
Chairman
Tanzania Consumer Advocacy Society

Govt told: enact law to enforce observation

CONSUMER PROTECTION, EDUCATION

Front Page article in Business Times of 17.01.2008

By Times Reporter,

http://www.businesstimes.co.tz/kurasa.php?soma=national&habariNamba=910

THE Government in Dar has been urged to enact a law that would perforce require businesses to have insurance cover in favour of their customers/consumers.

According to Bernard Kihiyo, the executive director of the Tanzania Consumer Advocacy Society (TCAS), “insurance services are today needed in the Tanzanian market more than at any time in the country’s history. Even domestic businesses are morally bound – and should also be legally bound – to apply best practices at all times and under all circumstances if they are to be effective in the global economy.

” In that regard, he said, proper legislation and regulatory frameworks are needed, to go hand-in-hand with insurance policies which cover the greatest possible majority of consumers – complete with the right and adequate compensation schemes.

“Up to the moment,” Kihiyo said, “there is not a single firm which has already established such a scheme – although there are many consumers who routinely face various challenges, but are invariably denied their (consumer) rights.”

He also insisted on “consumer education as an important part of the process ... and is a basic consumer right that must be assured for the general public. Such education should be introduced at the school and college levels.”

This would increase consumers’ understanding of their rights, and would also build consumers’ ability to pursue their rights more effectively. The effort at consumer education would make consumers’ voices heard far and wide, loud and clear.

There also would be increased awareness amongst consumers in particular, and the public in general, this facilitating accountability and responsiveness to consumers’ needs and interests.

Kihiyo said “education, any education in fact, is a lifelong process of constantly acquiring relevant information, knowledge and skills. “Consumer education is an important part of this process and is a basic consumer right that must be insisted upon by the general public and, as such, should be introduced at the school and college levels,” Kihiyo stressed.

TCAS intends to introduce annual Awards for the ‘Best Manufacturer,’ ‘Best Supplier,’ ‘Best Importer,’ et cetera, as adjudged in accordance with accepted standards and the views of consumers countrywide. According to Kihiyo, the Awards scheme would give back to businesses the confidence they need for business conduct par excellence from Tanzanian consumers in particular, and entire communities at large.

“The Awards system aims at encouraging business companies to take a triple-bottom-line approach to their performance: sensitivity to standards, quality and environment – as well as economic impact of their operations.

“This Awards Scheme will keenly watch how businesses are applying responsive business practices that can create value chains for the betterment of consumers – and that would help business firms to become more cost-effective, accountable and responsive to consumers’ needs and interests,” the consumer

Source; Front Page; the Business Times of 17.01.2008

Domestic consumers lobby digs up new drive

By Mgeta Mganga

2008-02-18 08:49:25
The Tanzania Consumer Advocacy Society (TCAS) has plans to introduce annual awards to honour manufacturers, suppliers, importers, operators and service providers who would have demonstrated agility to uphold consumers rights in Tanzania.

The awards would become full swing by the end of this year and TCAS Executive Director; Bernard Kihiyo confirmed to this paper last week that this programme would also create greater possibilities for using corporate social responsibility (CSR) strategies and business best practice frameworks to enhance private sector interest in consumers protection.

There are indications that the Consumers International (CI) would support the initiative by providing technical and consultation inputs into making the event successful.

On his part, the TCAS chairman, Daimon Mwakyembe said the annual competition would tune-up the attention of businesses to the fact that consumers were watching companies activities, actions and behaviour as to how best they are serving consumers interests and needs.

According to Mwakyembe, the competition would also encourage businesses to invest in broader social values whose benefits go beyond profit. He explained that for businesses to flourish there must be symbiotic relationships between supply and demand sides.

In recent times, he said, investors were apparently becoming more concerned to invest in company`s that are seen to be acting in a socially responsible manner. Transparency and a commitment to responsible business could give a company an advantage in securing public contracts.

The award winners would be those that would have objectively demonstrated their resolve to boosting sustainable consumption, including meeting the needs of present and future generations for goods and services in ways that are economically, socially and environmentally sustainable.

Mwakyembe, the immediate past Director General of Tanzania Bureau of Standards (TBS) said the awards would also provide feedback to businesses about their conduct from the point of view of Tanzanian consumers. ``The goal is to work toward addressing consumers right for quality products as well as getting best deal for the value of their money``, he said.

The Annual Award will involve strong consumers participation in a transparent way. Consumers views would be collected through postal mails, e-mails, text messages, and interactive radio and television bulletins.

The lobby group claims that 80 percent of consumers in Tanzanian do suffer from lack of awareness about what rights they were naturally entitled to enjoy from suppliers of goods and services. TCAS provides an advocacy platform that would make the voices of consumers heard and hence make markets work better for both urban and rural consumers in Tanzania, doing so since 2005.

· SOURCE: Guardian
http://www.ippmedia.com/ipp/guardian/2008/02/18/108614.html

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Beginning: My Terrible Experience with Verizon FIOS Customer "Service"

I will go so far as to say that I would have preferred to have been waterboarded than endure the experience I had with Verizon FIOS over the past few months. Everyone's human, so a few long waits and a few mistakes here and there are no big deal. But continuously utter incompetence, repeated lack of follow-up, and the absence of accountability at any level are symptoms of a much more serious problem.

Let's start with a few more minor gripes, before I get into the serious issue...
1) Good luck getting a copy of your first few bills. After our initial installation of internet and television, Verizon was nice enough to charge my credit card each month, but they didn't bother sending me a copy of the bill. This proved to be quite a challenge. They said to get it online, but for some reason neither my phone nor account number would allow me to register with the site. Most representatives were confused why I would even need a copy of the bill. That's one of the stupidest things I have ever heard, but it certainly wouldn't be the stupidest thing I heard from Verizon. In retrospect, such a simple issue that caused so much heartburn should have been a redflag that Verizon wasn't right for me, but I stuck with it - much to my dismay.

2) Either I had intermittent service issues or the wireless modem they provided blows. Either way it was my problem, apparently. How does frequent 0 mbps upload and download sound? I have a colleague at work who reported similar issues in the past few months, and he too was given the runaround by technical support (e.g. Did you reset the router? Yes, putz. His full story will be detailed in a later post, and apparently is related to mine). I called tech support multiple times and, each time, they said things were fine. They even pointed me to a cute little speedtest that confirmed their diagnosis. How the hell is 0 mbps transfer a "success?" And why the hell are they "congratulating" me?

3) They offer fewer HD channels than my local cable provider. With all that fiber optic bandwidth, shouldn't they be able to offer at least a comparable number of HD channels?

4) They do not offer NBA League Pass, NHL Center Ice, or NFL Sunday Ticket. I know the Sunday Ticket package is exclusive to one provider, but the others are not.

5) Their website is downright terrible.

6) I know it's common to complain about customer service (long wait times, offshoring, etc.), but Verizon's customer service is so far beyond bad that it's almost indescribable. Atrocious. Despicable. Maddening. Horrendous. Deplorable. Basically every SAT word that you can think of that's synonymous with "sucks big time." I will humbly attempt to describe my experience in hopes that I might save just a few people from the experience I endured.

It all started with an installation gone awry. I had FIOS internet and TV, but was looking to add the phone offering to my bundle of services. Verizon was planning to install a phone with a number ported from another carrier. I was told this could take up to 10 business days, so we started the process and scheduled an installation nearly 4 weeks in advance.

4 weeks later, I waited around from the requisite 8am-12pm as indicated. Needless to say, no one showed up - no technician, no phone call, no nothing. So I called Verizon's Customer "Service" line for the first of what would be literally seemingly endless times.

So my daily routine for the next two weeks was as follows:
1) Call the Verizon FIOS customer service line, and go through the maddening digital helper woman. Each time you call, and choose the same prompts, you seem to get routed differently. Choosing something as simple as "order status" got me to such places as tech support, multple Verizon land line phone service regions (many of which were not mine), new accounts, and my favorite...A COMPLETE DISCONNECT. THE LINE JUST GOES DEAD. What a perfect way to set the tone for the type service that awaits.
2) Spend an average of 20 minutes on hold, with a range from anywhere between a few minutes to well over an hour.
3) Explain my story to the representative - and believe me, it got longer every time I called. Just trying to get a phone installed, missed appointment, order in limbo, can I reschedule, etc? Simple stuff, you would think. After letting me explain my story for a good few minutes, many times I heard "oh that's not my department." That's funny, I followed the prompts to the "order status" line.
4) Get dumped into another queue, with no priority status, so my wait begins again.
5) Repeat steps #2 and #3 a few more times (seriously). How does this keep happening? I swear their phone system is retarded - ironic for one of the largest phone companies in the world.
6) Finally get through to the person who can "help" me.
7) Go through my story.
8) Get put on hold, because the representative realizes that my issue is confusing (a phone installation, mind you). Sometimes, this step would end with me right back at step 4 - somehow when I am on hold with one representative, the call gets picked up by a completely new person, sometimes in a completely different department.
9) After long conversations, the representative cannot rectify the issue and promises me a phone call back within 24 hours from a person better suited to help (install a freaking phone).
10) Wait 24 hours for a phone call that never comes.
11) Repeat steps #1 - #10. Literally. Every day. For two weeks. To get a phone installed. Over those two weeks, I estimate that I was on the phone with Verizon for a good 20 hours. And I was promised at least 10 return phone calls which never happened. See why I am so frustrated?

Based on all of my phone conversations, I was able to piece together the root cause of the issue like Van Gogh crafting a fine mosaic. Through the fault of the first person that we spoke to, the order was not filled out correctly and ended up in some despicable form of limbo known at Verizon as the "Shadow Queue." This black hole should be reserved for only the world's worst murderers, but apparently my phone order took up residence there as well.

Of all the people that I spoke with during the first week and a half of my ordeal, no one knew what the hell to do to get my order moving. They spoke of the "Shadow Queue" as if it were the freaking Loch Ness monster - we are pretty sure it exists, but we don't really have any proof. But apparently that's where my order ended up, and that meant I was up shit's creek without a boat.

So to recap - literally every day's ordeal ended with a promise that someone from the proper department would get in touch with me within 24 hours. I went so far as to provide 2 contact numbers so that I would never be out of reach. Each day I grew sadder and sadder, and madder and madder as I realized that I was in an endless loop.

Finally, late in the second week, I had a breakthrough. A very nice woman seemed up to the challenge. She made a Joe Namath-like guarantee that she would win this battle for me, and I would have a phone in no time. So she put me on hold for a while, and came back with the verdict. It was kind of a good news/bad news scenario. The good news was that she figured out the problem. The bad news was that my existing order would need to be canceled and a new one would need to be created in its place.

But hey, this was progress, and I welcomed the opportunity to get this thing moving again. I even went so far as to say that if porting the old number was particularly difficult, I would gladly take a new randomly-assigned phone number. That would require a return phone call within the hour, which she personally guaranteed. In fact, it would come from her supervisor. But like Elmer Fudd being outsmarted by Bugs Bunny once again, I accepted the booby prize that would never materialize. But this conversation wasn't all for naught - the representative leveled with me. A heart to heart chat, if you will.

She indicated that in all of her years with Verizon, she had never seen an account with more issues than mine for such a simple problem. I even had a special "red flag" which indicates a customer who, apparently, is either "mad" or "screwed with." She said that my account notes were akin to a Tolstoy novel full of torture, deceit, and sadness. She said she could not believe how I had put up with this kind of treatment on a daily basis for weeks. In fact, she suggested I contact the "customer retention" department and request a good faith credit based on my experience. So she transferred me to that department, and said that I would be getting a phone call within the hour about the new service order. Sweet.

When I got through to the "customer retention" department, I had to double check the dictionary for the definition of "retention." Turns out, I did know what the word meant. Apparently, the representative did not. I told her my extremely long-winded saga of sadness, and asked her to reference the notes on my account. Her indignant response shocked me - What are you talking about? I don't see any notes or issues indicated on your account. Why would I offer you anything when everything is fine? This was the beginning of the end of my experience with Verizon. I told her that I was completely unsatisfied with both the content and tone of her response. I had literally bent over backwards for hours a day for two weeks TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE THEY CREATED, COULDN'T TROUBLESHOOT, AND DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DAMN DECENCY TO CALL ME BACK ONCE OUT OF ABOUT 10 PROMISED RETURNED CALLS? All for me to ADD SERVICE aka PAY VERIZON MORE MONEY!!! You know what her answer was? I'll have someone call you back within 24 hours.

At this point, I had enough. I asked her how I could trust that I would receive a return phone call when I hadn't received one every day for the past two weeks? That was exactly the problem that exacerbated the initial problem, and she's going to make it better by doing the same thing? She said there was nothing she could do (again, she is in the customer retention department), so I told her there was only one thing I could do. CANCEL MY SERVICE. She hung up on me, of course, as my tone quickly devolved into a catharsis of the frustrations I built up over the two weeks. So I called back to cancel.

In fitting fashion, my first journey through the call router landed me in the wrong department. Despite calling the FIOS number that I always called, I ended up with the landline Verizon group. Sweet. I even wasted my opening line - "With great pleasure, I would love to cancel all of my Verizon services." He giggled a bit, explained he was not the man for the job, and transferred me to the right department.

When canceling, I was presented two options for returning the Verizon equipment. First, was to schedule an appointment (with a 4 hour window) to have a FIOS guy come out and collect the stuff. Are you freaking kidding me? You think I am going through the scheduling ordeal again? No chance, Lance. Instead, the representative promised to send postage paid boxes within 3-5 business days. Also, I was assured that we would not be receiving an early cancellation fee, because I had gone so far out of my way to try and stick with Verzion (and ADD service), that there was just no chance in the world that I should incur a penalty.